It's Alive/Sarcasm Saves


I swear this blog wasn't forgotten. I was busy.

Also, why do I feel the need to explain myself to the zero people that read this?

You are right. Millions of people read this. I need to keep this up for the good of society. Sure, I'll accept the Nobel Peace Prize, fly for NASA and start for the Browns.

Back to reality...

We recently played a part in the Columbus Food Truck Festival. It was a hit (again). The bands were great. I gained 10lbs from the food but lost 15 from the over 50 miles I walked. Not a bad weekend. 

My garden project with Market 65 has been taking off in the past few weeks. Together we are studying the feasibility of growing a large amount of heirloom produce to be used in their restaurant. The large amount of rain during the spring and early summer has caused every grower some headaches , but right now its kicking. The summer still has some juice and is no where close to being done. The best is yet to come.

Excuse me, but I need to cut this blog post short. As an adoring fan, you must already know that the president and I are close friends. He's picking me up in Air Force 1 and flying me to camp david to shoot some hoops.

Nailed It

I love this show and John Oliver recently talked about something close to me. 

I've spent years explaining the 'Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Act' and this perfectly sums it up. People in this country go to bed hungry while we throw perfectly good food into the landfill instead of donating it out of fear that somebody will be sued because of a food safety issue.

Not one person has ever been sued when donating food. Not. One. Person. 

This is you: That can't be true. I dont believe it. I'm gonna Google that. Why am I talking to myself out loud?

After it can no longer be donated, it should be composted or taken to an anaerobic digester. 

Watch the NSFW video due to bad words. Please use earmuffs on the little ones if they don't know bad words yet (don't kid yourself, they know them).    

Its My Birthday and I'll Garden If I Want To

Another June 7th passes while I notch another hole in my belt.  

That was an 'I gained weight' joke for the uninformed. This past weekend I literally took a knife and made an extra hole in my belt. It was sad. 

Other than the time spent self-loathing, I got to spend a the weekend in the company of two great friends who tied the knot. Chris and Carla did the wedding thing right. SO. MUCH. FUN. 

 This is how I felt after the wedding. Its a picture of Gary Oldman looking old. Gary OLD-MAN. Are you following? No? I figured.

This is how I felt after the wedding. Its a picture of Gary Oldman looking old. Gary OLD-MAN. Are you following? No? I figured.

After shaking off the prior night, I did get some time to hit the garden on Sunday and put in work. 

Since we are still in the opening stages I thought I would do some soil treatments. 

 Its a hoe. Please save whatever joke you may have. It has been done before you mouth-breather. 

Its a hoe. Please save whatever joke you may have. It has been done before you mouth-breather. 

 I can still hear you breathing... 

I can still hear you breathing... 

That's right, I hoed the garden. 

The plants are all still so young and delicate, like me before this past birthday, so its good to not let heavy soil compact around their roots. 

Also, it aerates the soil and should be done for good plant health over the course of the gardens lifetime. 

Thirdly, it gives you an opportunity to annoy everyone around you with your sophisticated middle school sense of humor. 

 Garden 65

Garden 65

Have a great day. 

New Year, New Garden

You feel that creeping up on you?

No, its not your weird uncle during the annual family cookout on Memorial day. 

 There's always next year...

There's always next year...

Its summer and its here. 

This garden and the accompanying blog (my first) were started solely to post as many things on social media as possible and satisfy my unshakable and endless narcissism. 

Ahhhhhh, I got you again.  

This garden was started for two reasons:

  1. I like to grow things. This is my hobby. I get to be outside all day and listen to music. I eat a lot of veggies. These all count as one. 
  2. My good friends own Market 65 , a restaurant that specializes in salads with local and healthy ingredients. Market 65 will use everything in the restaurant that I don't eat first. 

Posts will consists mainly of progress pictures, garden problems, solutions, how-to projects,  scary bugs, funny shaped vegetables and me, if I'm having a good hair day.  

I've gardened for a few years and am learning happens all the time and I want to share. 

Plant count (I don't have them all yet... patience please):

18 tomato varieties, 15 Pepper varieties, 16 herb, 6 kale, 4 lettuce, 2 okra, eggplant, tomatillo, brussel sprouts, beans, and peas. We will soon add zucchini, cucumber, artichoke, squash and a few others. 

This is fun for me. Lets have fun together. 

Behold the beauty that is... Garden 65.

Brought to you by Good Land Sustainability Consultants.

I like it a lot. 

Please check back for updates.